The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway
01:02:46 · Anna Lembke
I, like, got out of my, like, little workout mode, and, like, I helped this person be able to, you know, do what they needed to do. So it's so many little things like that, and they come up all the time, but we don't see them. They love other people by letting them have their own experience. One of the things about Radical Surrender, when we really acknowledge the limits of our control, we also acknowledge the limits of, like, how we can manipulate other people's experience or reactions to us, and that is so incredibly freeing. Just be like, I can't control this person's experience. I don't know what they think or what they're gonna do. All I can do is just show up and be real and, you know, and be in the moment as much as possible. So to me, that's been really powerful, especially as a parent where I think we're constantly worrying about how to help our kids, and at some point, we just have to, like, you know what? They're gonna have their life. If they ask me for help, that's one thing. But otherwise, I just gotta let them have their own experience. Cultivating awe, symbols, synchronicity. These are all these sort of meaningful coincidences, you know, where, like, you show up at the same place that somebody else shows up. It's like, oh, wow. That's so cool. And the felt experience of that can be very, very powerful, especially in times of distress. Right? When we've lost a loved one or somebody's sick, we're very... We're open and receptive to that. But But I think it's also a way to sort of tie us to the world to remind us that there is this greater order that we don't control. Again, all this kind of right sizing. And then ultimately, we talked about the importance of human connection and embracing uncertainty, living in reality. You know, it's it's when we stop trying to control other people in the world that we're actually free to experience it.
01:04:33 · Scott Galloway, Anna Lembke
[01:04:33] S2: Doctor, you have two boys? [01:04:35] S3: I have four children, two boys and two girls. [01:04:38] S2: Two boys and two girls. I think people probably listening... Who've listened to you on this podcast thought, oh my gosh. Wouldn't it have been great to have Anna as a mom? [01:04:47] S3: Oh my... No. No. Well, [01:04:49] S2: that's my question. [01:04:50] S3: Plenty of mistakes. Yeah. [01:04:51] S2: What did you get wrong? [01:04:54] S3: A lot of codependency traits. So I grew up in a house with an alcoholic parent, a lot of codependency patterns. So my biggest... Also, as I talk about in the book, our first child died of leukemia. And so my trigger is always the health of my kids that they have some physical problem, phys... Or disease or something. And then a kind of intrusive wanting to manage their experience and tying my relief from anxiety to them saying, my life is great, mom. So again, this is a kind of a narcissistic investment in my children that I've worked very hard on, but I still really struggle with. Like, I need them to be always okay for me to be okay. And we talk about it openly, and they give me lots of feedback and pushback when I'm doing that. And so I think overall, like, it's worked out. My... I'm really close to my kids, and they are doing well in the deep ways that I care about, you know, being good citizens. But it's an ongoing struggle.
01:06:01 · Scott Galloway, Anna Lembke, Scott Galloway
[01:06:01] S2: In addition to being a mom, doctor Anna Lembke is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and author of the bestselling book Dopamine Nation, Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence. Her latest book is Letting Go in a World Addicted to Control. Doctor. Lembke, I think that historians and psychiatrists were gonna look back on this age and think they were important, but we should have listened to them more. I can't tell you how much I enjoy these conversations. I don't think, as I said, we're not in an attention economy, we're in an addiction economy. And I think it's so important that people such as yourself with the credentials and and the demeanor you present, I think your voice has never been needed more on a lot of levels and very much appreciate your time and your good work. [01:06:51] S3: Oh, well, thank you. That inspires me to keep going. [01:06:55] S2: There you go. Thanks, doctor. [01:06:58] S0: This episode was produced by Jennifer Sanchez, Laura Genear, and Asher Schwartz. Our video editor is Bianca Rosario Ramirez. Cami Reek is our social producer. Drew Burrows is our technical director and Catherine Dillon is our executive producer. Thanks for listening to the Prof G Pod from Prof G Media.