Lenny's Podcast: Product | Career | Growth
01:24:43 · Becky Kennedy, Lenny Rachitsky
And I just think we forget to apply that because again, parenting has been told as something that should just feel natural when it doesn't, right? So if we think of it as a set of skills, it's actually very hopeful. Oh, I learn skills from Lenny all the time. I can do that in parenting too. [01:24:59] S0: That's such a beautiful message. What I feel is anytime I watch one of your clips and then do that thing and then it works, it's like, oh, that expands your mind. Oh wow, there's so much more I could learn. I should go deeper on what the hell I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. So that is a really important message of like you can learn this skill. It's not something anyone just knows how to do. [01:25:19] S1: Yeah. And I like giving people very concrete things. So a question recently that I've asked my kids that have led to amazing moments just as a, is some version of, "If I could do one thing different this week to be a better parent to you, what would it be?" I guess it's kind of like a 360 degree- [01:25:37] S0: Yeah. That's [inaudible 01:25:38]. [01:25:38] S1: Review. Right. And- [01:25:39] S0: Give me a raise.
01:25:39 · Lenny Rachitsky, Becky Kennedy
[01:25:39] S0: Give me a raise. [01:25:40] S1: Sometimes your kid says the hurtful things. "You can not be on your phone as much," which just get ready for it and just get ready to receive. "Okay. Thank you for telling me that." And I think the thing that stops us is we think our kid is going to say "stupid things." "You could let me watch TV." The truth is no matter what your kid says, it's a window into their world. And again, you can be the pilot who listens but doesn't open the cockpit door. "Oh, what would it be like to watch all the TV you want? Oh, your friends watch more. I'm so glad you told me that. Oh, does that mean I can watch TV? Sweetie, that's not going to be one of the things I budge on, but maybe here's something we could do instead." But just asking your kid that question and not expecting a profound answer. It makes me think if anyone thought, "What if my manager asked me that question? Wouldn't I immediately just feel better about my manager anyway just from the asking of the question?" And I think it's just something so actionable that every time I do it with my kids, I notice their behavior's kind of better for the rest of the week just from that. And I want to give something high impact to anybody who's made it this far in the episode. [01:26:36] S0: I love that that's like the reverse of this approach to this episode is like from the work environment, what can you bring to your kids? And it's like, do a little 360, ask for what feedback can you give me in my performance review as a parent this week. [01:26:48] S1: Exactly.
01:26:48 · Becky Kennedy, Lenny Rachitsky
[01:26:48] S1: Exactly. [01:26:48] S0: So good. Okay. With that, Dr. Becky, we reached our very exciting lightning round. I've got five questions for you. Are you ready? [01:26:56] S1: Yes. [01:26:57] S0: Here we go. What are two or three books that you find yourself recommending most to other people? [01:27:03] S1: I love The Power of Moments. I love Messy Middle and I got a lot from Creativity, Inc as well. [01:27:11] S0: Is there a recent movie or TV show you have really enjoyed? [01:27:14] S1: I really liked Secrets We Keep, which was actually recommended to me by our product leader on Netflix. And I really loved K-Pop Demon Hunters so much. I wrote a whole guide on it because I think it's just such an opener for really good, deep connected moments with our kids. And so those two come to mind. [01:27:33] S0: Is there a product you recently discovered that you really like? Could be an app, could be clothing, could be a gadget. [01:27:39] S1: I started doing Liberty Puzzles. Do you know it? So some people- [01:27:39] S0: No.
01:27:39 · Lenny Rachitsky, Becky Kennedy
[01:27:39] S0: No. [01:27:42] S1: Have heard of Stave. They're like these, but this is Liberty. They're thick wooden puzzles where they're kind of hand cut pieces. You never know what's an edge. Sometimes the colors that connect are kind of the end of one color and start of another, so they're tricky. But having this out at night, number one, I find puzzling is something where you have to monotask. You truly cannot multitask. And I find it so hard for me to monotask these days, even though it gives me such grounded energy. So that allows that. And it's something, yes, with my kids, but oddly enough, me and my husband will find ourselves doing it together at night versus being on the couch, doing work. And I feel like we're in the same world working on something together. And it's been really fun for that as well. [01:28:25] S0: My kid has been really into puzzles recently. We have this menorah puzzle that we got and he's just every bedtime, he wants to do it four times, finishes it, again. He speaks Spanish because his grandma speaks Spanish to him, so he's like mas, una mas. [01:28:38] S1: Oh, I love it. Love puzzles. [01:28:40] S0: And I love that he's just like, "Break it apart. Okay, let's start from the beginning." [01:28:43] S1: Amazing. [01:28:44] S0: Yeah. Puzzles. How fun. Okay. Two more questions. Do you have a favorite life motto that you find useful in work or in life?
01:28:44 · Lenny Rachitsky, Becky Kennedy
[01:28:44] S0: Yeah. Puzzles. How fun. Okay. Two more questions. Do you have a favorite life motto that you find useful in work or in life? [01:28:52] S1: This feels hard because it is hard, not because I'm doing something wrong. I just think this is so true in parenting at work. It's so interesting how often something is hard and we tell ourselves the story that we're stupid or we're not good at it. And there's something so simple about reminding myself, no, this feels hard because it is hard. I'm feeling this moment right. It's just hard. And I find that I always feel my feet on the ground again when I tell myself that. [01:29:15] S0: Great segue to our final question. So you're building a product, building a company. As a non-product person, what's something that surprised you about the experience of building a product and building a company?
01:29:15 · Lenny Rachitsky, Becky Kennedy
[01:29:15] S0: Great segue to our final question. So you're building a product, building a company. As a non-product person, what's something that surprised you about the experience of building a product and building a company? [01:29:28] S1: It's funny. I'm hesitating only because I'm thinking of something and I'll say it, but I'm like, why did that surprise me? It should be so obvious. But I guess it's true that a company is just people. And before I started this company, I was in private practice, seeing people for therapy. And I feel like those skills are remarkably useful as the leader of a company where there's so many things I can't do. You're not going to ask me to financially model or data analytics, but I feel like there's really strong people who can do that. But I believe that understanding people or just having the skill of attempting to understand people is a surprisingly, but I guess also retrospectively obvious, really good leadership skill. [01:30:12] S0: Dr. Becky, this was incredible. It's such an honor to have you on. I just see you everywhere all the time, have learned so much from you. And what a treat to have you in this podcast. I have people are like, "What the hell is going on here?" I learned a ton myself and I know people will too. Two final questions. Where can folks find you, Good Inside, your book, anything else you want to share? And then just how can listeners be useful to you?