My First Million
00:23:54 · Sam Parr, Bill Perkins
[00:23:54] S2: How often do you get accused of being an asshole? Like, how do you how do you live this life, but like, you know, being kind and loving to the people you [00:24:03] S0: care It's very important to be kind. I'm a big supporter of people. Like, I I want people to win, give them my time, and and show up for them. But my time is extremely valuable. I don't know. I probably my wife was like, you're being an asshole. It's probably like, you know, month... You know, it's like, if you... A month ago or whatever. It's usually when it's just like an argument and being forceful about being right and you just don't need to be right, you need to be loved and let it go type of thing. [00:24:30] S2: That's a good line.
00:24:30 · Sam Parr, Bill Perkins, Shaan Puri
[00:24:30] S2: That's a good line. [00:24:31] S0: And so I think it comes across, and I'm also very, I'm like, you know, on the complete an to a autist, you know, I'm kinda over here, like one shade in the autist, like, I give people the straight dope, and, you know, I don't pull punches. I don't think I'll feel people get any value from me if I'm performing some sort of social niceties. I think you should get, like, the straight dope from me. So I think if you are not aware and value that type of feedback, you might be like, oh, he's an asshole, as opposed to, wow, you actually told me something that my closest friends won't tell me and are giving me the straight dough. Whether it's accurate or not, that's up to you. You can take it or leave it, but I'm providing you a proper mirror. Like I'm the type of guy who will tell you like you got a booger hanging out of your nose and some people won't. You know what I mean? And so like, but you got friends that are just like, I'm not gonna say anything while you're sitting there talking about a booger out of your nose. So like, it's just, you know, that's how I I show [00:25:28] S1: don't wanna embarrass you, so I'll let you embarrass yourself. [00:25:30] S0: Yeah, exactly, that type of thing. And for whatever reason, it doesn't mean they're being an asshole or whatever, it's just that's their programming.
00:25:30 · Bill Perkins, Shaan Puri
[00:25:30] S0: Yeah, exactly, that type of thing. And for whatever reason, it doesn't mean they're being an asshole or whatever, it's just that's their programming. [00:25:38] S1: Hey, so a minute ago you were talking about like, had a friend who was saying, Look, I don't want that kind of cookie cutter life. And you realized that you had been wanting this kind of cookie cutter life, this vision that had been set for you, whether it's from the movies or your parents or whoever, right? I think every man goes [00:25:55] S0: to Cultural osmosis as I like to call it. You know? [00:25:58] S1: Yeah, exactly. And it sounded like you had to go redefine with a blank sheet of paper, what do I care about? What kind of life do I want? You to put some definition behind it. Something that meant something to you. And even if others wouldn't want that, you really wanted it. What did you come up with? What is the answer to that for you?
00:26:15 · Bill Perkins
[00:26:15] S0: I really, you know, it wasn't like I sat down and like I cracked through and sat down with the Dalai Lama and meditated, but I realized like, hey, what I wanted at the time, was gonna go for it, and then I realized that a lot of the things that I thought I wanted had just been great marketing, either by society or the movies, and I had been inculcated with it. And so, you know, I realized like, holy shit, the foods I like, the things I do were really just programming. Right? I don't eat fried crickets because I didn't grow up in Asia. You know? If I grew up in China, I'd be like, when can we get some fried crickets, man? Things are really good. Right? To me, it's repulsive. But the only reason why it's repulsive is I didn't grow up eating fried crickets. Right? And so almost all the things that I like were programming, not innate. Right? And so I I realized that it was gonna take a lot, and it's not that all programming is bad. Like some of them was like, I like it, copy paste repeat, but a lot of the programming did not work for me. It was that conflict of what I really wanted, and it was going to take some thinking and discovery to actually come to what what kind I of life I wanted, you know, what what what how do these conflict with my values, are my values, the right values, yada yada yada, and that was going to happen over time. It wasn't something that was going happen, like, right away. I was going to erase twenty something years of programming in a day, right?
00:27:38 · Shaan Puri, Bill Perkins, Sam Parr
[00:27:38] S1: Give us a couple of bullet points. What did you... What are... What were some of the principles or tenets that that you did end up replacing that actually you do live by now or you do chase now? [00:27:47] S0: Oh, there's a lot. I mean, how I react to people when they trespass against you, how I show up with kindness. Like, you're in Jersey City. Right? You're going to a club, somebody steps on your sneakers, somebody might die. Right? Like, that's a cultural programming. [00:28:00] S2: What did you decide that you're gonna do? [00:28:01] S0: I'm not gonna be punching people in the face because they stepped on my sneakers in a crowded... [00:28:05] S2: So you said, okay, so rule rule number one, I'm not gonna be reactive. I'm gonna I'm not gonna be high.
00:28:05 · Sam Parr, Bill Perkins
[00:28:05] S2: So you said, okay, so rule rule number one, I'm not gonna be reactive. I'm gonna I'm not gonna be high. [00:28:10] S0: Yeah. Like, how how... Well, I'm reactive, but what are my response cries to certain stimulus? Right? Like, there's everybody has certain stimulus, like somebody dies, somebody cheats you, somebody does this, somebody does x, y, and z, this happens, that happens, and then you have your responses, right, out of your toolkit. And, you know, I started to look at, out out of all the infinite ways you can respond to a stimuli, why was I choosing these ways, right? And the judgment was, does it work or not work for my goals? So there's no judge... You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't like a a a judgment in terms of, like, this is the right way, this is wrong way. It's like, does this work or not work for my goals? What are my goals? So there's a lot of thinking and going on there about everything. Like, if, you know, you you you see certain things in the news or people like, oh, this bad thing happened, and they did this. And you're like, okay, why why did they behave that way? Somebody insults you. You... What did you say? How did you react? You know? And, you know, people write tons of books on this stuff, like, you know, controlling yourself or whatever. But it ultimately is like you have lots of stimuli and lots of responses, and which ones work for you and which ones don't. And with the ones that work, you know, you rip them out and replace them with something else.