My First Million
00:17:40 · Bill Perkins
[00:17:40] S0: It's funny because, you know, one of the things that had an impact on me that that was like, I was in an argument with a friend on a football team named Dwight Systronka at the University of Iowa, and we were talking about something, I don't know. And he was like, yeah, I don't want that, that's what you want. Like, I don't wanna pick a fence in a White House or whatever and go get a job and work like that. I don't want that cookie cutter, I want a different life. And I remember thinking like, well, what could he possibly want? Like, I was so inculcated with like the bullshit and the Chevy Chase movies and get married, have kids, get a nice car, climb the corporate ladder that I couldn't even see past that, right? And that conversation haunted me later on over years combined with other things to think about, okay, different people have different values, fulfillment means different things. What's a values agnostic way to look at these variables in order to have the most fulfilling life?
00:18:35 · Shaan Puri
[00:18:35] S1: I wanna read you an email I sent to my sister and my mom that's from your book, it's an excerpt from your book that resonated so much that I hand typed it back out by hand to I like that. I was like, Y'all aren't gonna read this book, but I need you to read this. And so it says, death wakes people up, and the closer it gets, the more awake we become. And when the end is near, we suddenly start thinking, What the hell am I doing? Why did I wait this long? And then you go on and you say, Most people live their life like this. They build a well and start to pump water. As the well fills, they use a cup to scoop out a tiny amount of water. They take a sip and then they go back to pumping. Higher and higher goes the water. At the end of their lives, after a lifetime of pumping, they are still thirsty. They spent their whole life pumping rather than drinking. I know you talk about a couple of the principles. One, timing matters. Some experiences can only be enjoyed at certain times. You can't water ski when you're 90. Number two, what to worry about. You can always make more money in the future, but you cannot make more time in the future. So it makes sense to not worry about squandering our money. Squandering our lives should be a much greater worry.
00:19:38 · Bill Perkins, Sam Parr, Shaan Puri
[00:19:38] S0: That's like the why you write this book, why you think about this is that I was very, very afraid of wasting my life. Very, very afraid. A lot of people, they're like, they get so caught up in the game of making money, whatever, and they're like, oh, I fear losing money, I fear losing all all I built, and I fear losing my status, whatever, and I'm just like, that shit. I fear wasting my life. The money is just a tool to get [00:20:02] S2: But how do you how do you balance career ambition, ego, and living where you're gonna die soon and and and all that? I mean, that that's that's really hard. [00:20:15] S0: Yeah. I think if you really wanna be successful and and do something different and live live a like a non standard life, you really have to crush your ego constantly. There are some high ego people that somehow make it or whatever in a in a narrow lane, but then I I tend to think they suffer the other balancing points and having a real fulfilling life. [00:20:35] S1: Can can you explain what you mean by crush your ego? Like, what did what does that mean for you? When when did you do that?
00:20:39 · Bill Perkins
[00:20:39] S0: Well, most people who don't start a business or don't go chase an opportunity, etcetera, don't do it because of ego, not because of the money risk. They can handle the money risk. They can handle losing that job and becoming a waiter or whatever, but their ego cannot take the status drop. They cannot take, oh, wow. I'm now less than my friends on this poll of measuring money making. I'm going to look like a fool doing this to other people. And so, yeah, they'll argue with you and give you motivated reasoning that this is why they didn't do it because it was hard or it was, you know, this was difficult, whatever. And I always tell them, like, I don't give a fuck what the adjectives are. I don't care if it's salty. Is it a shot at the life you wanted to live? And why aren't you, you know, why didn't you take the risk? And when you really break it down, when you really talk to somebody you know, it's ego. They're just chicken shit. And and and, you know, like, it's hard... Like, if I don't know a person, like, I'm not gonna be, like, calling them chicken shit to your faces, but my friends who get the straight dope, I'm like, you're just a fucking pussy. You're just a straight pussy. And they know it. They know they are. They don't... They cannot take the ego risk. They can't take the judgment of their own selves, their parents, their friends, wider society, that they went out, tried this thing and failed. And it's the reason why people quietly root for you to fail when you try something because you expose their own cowardice.
00:22:11 · Shaan Puri, Bill Perkins, Sam Parr
[00:22:11] S1: Let's say you point out to a friend and you say, Look, man, I think just being scared. I think you're just being a pussy about this whole thing. Is there more to it than just that's that's what it is. Get over it. Hey. You need to just do it anyways. [00:22:23] S0: They still don't do it. I mean, a lot of them still don't do it. [00:22:26] S1: For the few that do, what works? What what what works to get them out of that state? [00:22:30] S0: I mean, awareness is half the battle, but there's a whole other half that has to be done, right? Like, it still has to turn into action, right? There's a lot of alcoholics that are aware they're alcoholics, so they still drink, right? Like, the action plan still has to happen, right? [00:22:42] S2: But let let let's assume that you are a person who is not being soft and living the life that you like. What percentage of the year are you actually not being soft? Like, what does what does living to the standard actually look like? Because it's easy to say that, but I'm sure you, like, you're a human. You you get soft like Yeah. Everyone like, like how many times a month are you doing something where you're like, shit, I gave in, I shouldn't be doing this, I followed my ego, or I said I I will, I committed to something that I shouldn't have committed to, whatever.
00:22:42 · Sam Parr, Bill Perkins
[00:22:42] S2: But let let let's assume that you are a person who is not being soft and living the life that you like. What percentage of the year are you actually not being soft? Like, what does what does living to the standard actually look like? Because it's easy to say that, but I'm sure you, like, you're a human. You you get soft like Yeah. Everyone like, like how many times a month are you doing something where you're like, shit, I gave in, I shouldn't be doing this, I followed my ego, or I said I I will, I committed to something that I shouldn't have committed to, whatever. [00:23:17] S0: I mean, it's it's a constant conversation I have to have with myself about a lot of things. It could be an interpersonal relationship on having an ego and not saying I'm sorry. Like, I don't wanna I don't wanna look wrong. You know? I don't wanna I don't wanna appear wrong. I don't wanna appear like I'm the person. It could be a like, I don't wanna look like an idiot. I don't wanna go get up and do this, or I I I I'm being soft about this situation. I, you know, I've had a lot of training and not giving a what other people think, both in compliments and and derision. And so it allows me the freedom to be me and and try things that other people would be scared to do. [00:23:54] S2: How often do you get accused of being an asshole? Like, how do you how do you live this life, but like, you know, being kind and loving to the people you