Inspired with Alexa von Tobel
00:08:53 · Nate Berkus
[00:08:53] S0: Same. No, completely. I was too, Alexa. I mean, truth is that I was working for Leslie Hindman Auctioneers in Chicago. We called it the no dental insurance, but beg your parents for a pair of Gucci loafers and wear them every day, so we all thought we were super fancy in our navy jackets with gold buttons and our shoes with the buckles on them, but we had no money and we were making no money, and that's still to this day is pretty much the auction industry, unless you're in the top one percent of executives and investors. So as a recent graduate and even an intern working in auctions in Chicago, I made $780 every two weeks and I was always late to the Monday morning meeting. And when you were late to the Monday morning meeting, which was right at the front door of the auction house, the entire staff of 70 people or whatever were standing there, and Leslie would go through the sales coming up and the client issues and damages and all the things, and I was always like four or five minutes late to the 8AM meeting, and her rule was that you had to walk. You walked in in front of everybody, so it was always mortifying anyway and everyone knew, but you had to give her $5 if you were late. And so every Monday I gave her $5 and that was my lunch money. And I went into her office one day and she lit a Salem menthol. She smoked prison cigarettes. And I sat on a radiator because I thought we were really good friends, and we were. And I said to her, I think I'm going to quit my job. And she said, But I was grooming you. I think you really have what it takes. I'm like, You say that to so many I don't buy that at all. Will you support me if I start a design firm? That's really what I think I should be doing. And she said, Well, it's really scary out there. And I said to her, Yeah, but I make $780 every two weeks. How hard can it be to make that?
00:10:57 · Alexa von Tobel, Nate Berkus, S2
[00:10:57] S1: 70 make $5 [00:10:59] S0: Right, exactly. You're right. Thank you. Thank you, my former personal financial expert. You're right. It was $7.75 before taxes. So really thought to myself, the structure hasn't changed very much in billing and interior design, and I thought if I have two clients who I'm billing hourly, how hard can it be to be my own boss and make up $1,400 a month? It cannot be that complicated. And so I'm thrilled that I did it at that age. I had no clue what I was doing. I learned along the way, but I would say that what was perhaps distinctive about me in the early days was that I was really open, and I would say to these really rich people who had these really big homes, If you want to take a chance on me, I'm a kid, and I know I'm a kid, I'm not pretending to be an expert in everything, I'm not pretending to have a twenty year old firm and an established staff, I have nobody, it's me, but I'll work really hard for you, that I can promise, and I will always tell you the truth. If you're willing to let me try, let's try together. [00:12:20] S1: I will work extremely hard for you, and I will tell you the truth. [00:12:23] S0: That's a very That's [00:12:23] S2: it, powerful
00:12:23 · S2, Nate Berkus, Alexa von Tobel
[00:12:23] S2: it, powerful [00:12:24] S0: and then what happened was many people took that risk, some didn't, but I would say, they'd say I am so uncomfortable handing over my budget for my 8,000 square foot home to a 24 year old kid, and I would say let's do one room. Let's just try it. Let's do one room together, and if you love it, we'll just keep going, and if you don't, we won't. So I got a lot of jobs in the early days. I looked the part and I could speak the part, but I'm not a snob, and I never have been and I never will be, and I never wanted anybody to feel uncomfortable working with me ever, and I recognize that if I could win these people over initially with my authenticity and being just completely myself and being straightforward, then that would lead to an opportunity to show them my creativity and everything else that I knew I could bring to the table. But I was an idiot, I can't even imagine. I showed the business of the loss for the first two years. And I remember when we hired our first accountant, there were receipts in the door of my car. With gummy bears stuck to them. [00:13:47] S1: Nate, I will attest that you have... There is nothing snobbish about you. You have a warmth where you will walk in or stand next to somebody and make them feel so special. And I do think that is a superpower that you have, which is that you make people feel like the center of the universe. And it's unique, and I think it just... You exude a lot of warmth. One more
00:13:47 · Alexa von Tobel, Nate Berkus
[00:13:47] S1: Nate, I will attest that you have... There is nothing snobbish about you. You have a warmth where you will walk in or stand next to somebody and make them feel so special. And I do think that is a superpower that you have, which is that you make people feel like the center of the universe. And it's unique, and I think it just... You exude a lot of warmth. One more [00:14:12] S0: Will you please tell Jeremiah that when you get a chance at drop off? Okay. I think he needs to hear that from you, but thank you. [00:14:20] S1: No. You you you make you make people feel really special. I... And, anyways, I I love that about you. One last important thing I wanted to touch on is just sort of a foundation of who you are as a person, which, you know, when I was younger, I'd lost my dad unexpectedly, and that sort of changed the way I think about life and risk taking because life is so precious. But, Nate, you survived the absolutely wild event that I actually remember watching in college, the the Indian Ocean tsunami, in 2004. You were an entrepreneur, alongside that. And I just wanted to know, like, how getting through that changed the way you think about life just generally.
00:15:05 · Nate Berkus
[00:15:05] S0: That's still evolving, I would say. I would say that my fear around it in the immediate aftermath was that I would be weird forever because I felt really weird. When you witness... Also, I'm sorry to know that about your father. I didn't know that. And I'm sure he would be dying of pride with everything that you've gone Toby. On to Oh, really? I didn't know that. Oh, that's the sweetest because she's the sweetest. Oh, that's so great. I'm so grateful his name wasn't Rosie. It's only downhill from there. I would say that the reason I answer that it's evolving is that the initial shock took a couple of years to wear off, but I had so much happening at the time. I had a book going, my first book going to publication that Fernando had shot the cover image of me. I had a line of 80 SKUs launching at linens and things in in store Nate Berkus stores in over a thousand doors that fall. I had all these obligations, and they were exciting, wonderful obligations before the tsunami, and then after the tsunami, they weren't. I had no interest at all, in anything that I had been trying to build, been so proud of, none of it mattered. And I remember working with a grief counselor at the time who was really effective and I said to him, I just want to feel normal, but I don't know if I will ever feel normal again. And he said to me, It's a new normal, and you'll start to understand what I mean, that grief isn't linear, it's cyclical, and that it was okay to not be able to get out of bed on a Tuesday, but then perhaps on the anniversary of the actual event of the tsunami and Fernando's disappearance, I might feel okay that day, and that is also okay. And so I was learning this skillset about how to move through the world post a natural disaster, a traumatic event, and great personal loss. I was very much sensitive to all the loss that was attached to the tsunami worldwide. I knew I wasn't the only survivor story, I certainly didn't feel like the most important one. The locals in Sri Lanka watching their hospitality to the foreigners and the travelers, that whole culture rose up to protect us, which was also a great life lesson, but I think as I move through the world now, so many decades later, I really think that what it did was it changed me fundamentally by making me feel a deeper connection to people.
00:18:28 · Nate Berkus
And that was the great lesson, the great gift that was buried in that experience. Obviously, my whole family, my children, my husband, everyone, but I think I still kind of reel sometimes when I think that I found great love twice. I don't know who that happens to. I'm so deeply grateful for that. So that matters to me, and being able to function, thrive, get excited by life, love brings that into the picture pretty strongly. So I have a really, really solid foundation as a result of that.