Inspired with Alexa von Tobel
00:32:19 · Nate Berkus, Alexa von Tobel
I hope you're making a lot of money on the movies because now I'm gonna send you links all the time from these weird auctions, which I do. So there's relationships built on shared interests and I love the world of design. I'll never run out of ideas or I'll never stop learning, and I think that that's also something really special about it. [00:32:43] S1: Nate, my head just exploded because that is literally the best answer, which is it is effortless for you. [00:32:50] S0: Effortless. Don't even think about it. [00:32:52] S1: I... And I actually... That feels like my love of entrepreneurship. Like, it is... I I would do this for free. You don't have to [00:32:59] S0: You're fascinated by it. [00:33:00] S1: I am fascinated. I will spend all the time thinking about how to figure out how to stand it up, and I call it... Like, it's my playset. It's my intellectual playset. I'm just playing. Yep. [00:33:11] S0: I totally get it. It... They're your Legos. Companies are your Legos. [00:33:14] S1: Actually, they're... That's an inside joke, everybody, because my son is psychotically obsessed with Legos. [00:33:22] S0: He's actually a master builder. Our sons are the same age, in the same class, and our sons both are obsessed with Legos. The difference is that I go to pick up Oscar from Alexa's house and there's like [00:33:38] S1: It's a problem. [00:33:38] S0: The Great Wall Of China has been built out of Legos and runs through the entire living room. I'm like, Wait, Cashel, how did you do this? He's My
00:33:38 · Nate Berkus, Alexa von Tobel, S2
[00:33:38] S0: The Great Wall Of China has been built out of Legos and runs through the entire living room. I'm like, Wait, Cashel, how did you do this? He's My [00:33:47] S1: true design confession is that right now the Colosseum is on our dining table, and we don't [00:33:52] S2: know where to put it. [00:33:53] S1: And it's the full Roman Colosseum, and I need... I had, like... And I can't throw it away, and I'm [00:33:57] S0: so No. [00:33:58] S1: Stuck. I'm stuck. No. But... Yeah. And Nate does not judge. He's extremely loving to be No. Nate, that's just such a beautiful answer. It is actually effortless for you. And I think I'm gonna ask a question that I feel like I already know the answer to, but you and Jeremiah do this together. I mean, he is also a profoundly talented designer, and you guys have such a beautiful relationship that it also is rooted in creativity. How do you guys make that work? How how does that work? [00:34:30] S0: It's really funny. We had to, well, there's two things I'll say. So let me speak to being on TV together, which initially was really hard for me because I was the guy that called the shots for twenty years. And then Jeremiah came in and he was like, I don't like that rug. [00:34:47] S1: By the way, [00:34:47] S0: can't do [00:34:48] S1: that forever. Can I just? We like... Guys, sometimes I look at Nate and I just... I like I like whisper and I'm like, his hair. Like, his hair. I just... It's like... It is like an actual masterpiece. Okay. Sorry. Just needed to get that off my chest.
00:34:48 · Alexa von Tobel, Nate Berkus, S2
[00:34:48] S1: that forever. Can I just? We like... Guys, sometimes I look at Nate and I just... I like I like whisper and I'm like, his hair. Like, his hair. I just... It's like... It is like an actual masterpiece. Okay. Sorry. Just needed to get that off my chest. [00:35:02] S0: That is really Chris McMillan thanks you, by the way. I hope he's listening. But I will say that on television when we did our very first TV show together, which was on TLC, we would fight because I was a bit egalitarian. Tried to hear his perspective, but I didn't really believe him. I didn't trust his instinct. And I knew that we were on a very constrained timeframe and I was used to being the guy. Like, yep, it's this, this and this, move on, okay, it's gonna be that tile. Oh, that countertop's not available, just switch it. And he was like, excuse me, Nate and Jeremiah by design. Not Nate by design, this isn't your world anymore. I'm here and I may not have done this as long as you, but if we're gonna do this together, you will have the level of respect for me that I'm telling you I need. To be honest, full disclosure, it took a few makeovers for me to be like, Oh my God, he's got great ideas. This is gonna be... Because it was very early on in our marriage that we started doing TV shows together. So I learned to trust him in that way and I learned to also let you know, in that way. [00:36:28] S1: By the way, it's a good trick in marriage. [00:36:30] S0: Yeah, no shit. [00:36:32] S2: You can't [00:36:32] S1: get everybody.
00:36:32 · Alexa von Tobel, Nate Berkus, S2
[00:36:32] S1: get everybody. [00:36:34] S0: Exactly, exactly. There's certain things that guess I mean, it's shocking that someone else's opinion can actually be right when you're so convinced it's not, like what? However, when we design for ourselves and on behalf of clients, it's a little bit different, takes a lot longer, it's a little bit more personal in some ways. And so we figured out some ground rules. And I think the first and most important one is that we are not allowed if someone gives us a hard no, you would never survive this, Alexa. But if someone gives us a hard no, we are not allowed to try and sell the other person. You have to walk away. So as much as I loved this chest of drawers that I thought would be perfect in our entry, He was like, I hate it, no. And I can't, that's it, end of conversation. So we just keep going until we find a yes. [00:37:27] S1: Wait, that's amazing. By the way, what a good ground rule. [00:37:30] S0: It's a great rule, because it's so clear, it's so clean, and I love an actionable. So it's like, great, that's the rule, there's no bending it, there's I'm no breaking [00:37:42] S1: not listening to this one all day. [00:37:44] S2: I'm like, I'm giving you [00:37:45] S1: some trouble. But that's such a good rule.
00:37:45 · Alexa von Tobel, Nate Berkus
[00:37:45] S1: some trouble. But that's such a good rule. [00:37:49] S0: Yeah, and it starts with that, and then you know what, it also is I respect him. I respect him so deeply. He's the father of my kids. Watch how he moves through the world, and I trust him. It's a great, amazing marriage. It's a great love story. He's the best guy and we have so much fun. We've moved so many times. We've bought and sold. We've renovated psychotically, but it's our love language. It's a blast. There's nobody I'd rather argue about dishes with than him. And I really do think he's an incredible talent. I knew that ten years ago, eleven years ago when he started his, or twelve years ago when he started his firm. He looked at me and he said to me once, Do you think that I will make it if I do a career, choose a career that is, he already had his design firm, it was in the very early stage, but he's like, do you think I can do it? And I looked at him and I said, I want you to be happy more than anything. If you wanna be a potter, then you should be a potter and that's great. However, if this is your dream for yourself and it has nothing to do with me and you can stake this as your dream, then by all means I think there's nobody I trust more. You're gonna kill it, and he has. [00:39:17] S1: The the keyword there is mutual respect. [00:39:21] S0: 100%.
00:39:21 · Nate Berkus, Alexa von Tobel, S2
[00:39:21] S0: 100%. [00:39:21] S1: It's just... It's it's a really, really beautiful thing. I... We're gonna get to talking about tech and design because you really are in a position to be a thought leader about how that's how that's hitting the world and also all of the things that could worry us about it. [00:39:39] S0: Yep. [00:39:39] S1: But I I wanna take a minute because I picked up a new book that I'm pretty [00:39:42] S2: pumped about, [00:39:43] S1: which will be in all my all my places. And it comes out November 18. Nate, you've written... You've you've done so much in life. What made you write... What what made you put this together? And, also, it's stunningly