Invest Like the Best with Patrick O'Shaughnessy
· David Senra, Patrick O'Shaughnessy
[00:00:00] S1: You're over fame though. You don't like it. [00:00:00] S0: Yeah, I don't. I wish I could do what I do, and you know that thing in "Men In Black," where they flash you in the face. I wish at the end of each of my episodes, to flash people in the face, and they forgot who I was and didn't recognize me. [00:00:00] S1: I've been thinking about this lately. It's like, what I actually... You have limited time in every day, where do I spend this? And it's like three things, health, work, relationships. And I can't think of anything else that I care deeply about. Health has to come first because if we are sick or we have no energy, we can't do anything else. But other than that, if you look at how I spend my time, it's essentially just like, I'm building, I'm creating work that I hope makes somebody else's life better. That I truly am, like the abiding joy, like chasing that, and then I'm just deeply interested, in a shocking way, of having really strong relationships with other people. And I was not like that 10 years ago.
· Patrick O'Shaughnessy
[00:00:00] S0: My experience actually, I would disagree with the order. I had tremendously bad health problems for a long time, and I don't anymore, thankfully. But I'm convinced, I'm certain that the reason is that I finally got my work and my relationships correct. And that when you're doing something you love and have great core relationships, all of a sudden, magically, your health gets way better. And during that time when I had lots of health problems, I ate unbelievably well. I worked out every day. I did everything you're supposed to do and then some. I was crazy about it. I kept daily logs of all this stuff. There's nothing I didn't try. There's no willy-foofoo thing that I didn't explore. I tried everything to solve some of these problems, and I couldn't solve them. And at one point, I felt resigned to just like, "I guess I'm just one of those people that's going to be sick in life. That's just how it's going to be for me." And it cannot be a coincidence that when I finally started doing the thing that I think I was meant to do with my life, and spend all my time with the people, and focused on the relationships, that all of a sudden, my health got better. So now, of course, I still invest a lot in my health. I'm not arguing with the three key things, but I found that an interesting experience in life. The body keeps the score.
· David Senra, Patrick O'Shaughnessy
[00:00:00] S1: The fame part is interesting because this is something that you uniquely understand and I can talk to you about. It's not to be known for the sake of being known, like these reality TV show people. That's weird. I want my work to be so good that it can't help but become known and talked about and spread because they find value in it. This is just human nature. If you find value in a song, a movie, a book, or a podcast, no one keeps that to themselves. Like a restaurant – we're compelled to tell other people about the things that we like. What I would say is the reason I think I view it differently than you, and you can tell me if I'm wrong or whatever, it's just like… not even wrong, but it's the relationships that you get to build as a result of you being easy to understand to other people. So, no one's going to stumble upon any of my work and be like, "What is this guy actually interested in?" It's like very... [00:00:00] S0: Quite clear. [00:00:00] S1: Yeah, it's quite clear, very obvious, and then if you think there's some kind of unique insight. But my point being is just, I think this comes down to a principle of why are all the people that I've studied – either had a conversation with, or read about, why are they great at what they do? And it has to do with, I do think, the most fundamentally important thing that you do in life is choose who's around you. [00:00:00] S0: Of course.
· Patrick O'Shaughnessy, David Senra
[00:00:00] S0: Of course. [00:00:00] S1: Your friends, people you work for. Your company is the people that you are able to recruit and to build. And so, what I couldn't understand is, I was not interested at all in relationships with other people, I would say 10 years ago, somewhere around there. Whereas now it's like, I invest a ton in that element. I think it's the part that… I'm very excited about my work, that has never diminished, but I think it's the part that I'm most excited about and have been for quite a while. [00:00:00] S0: Well, because of course, on your deathbed, that's what you're going to be thinking about, not your 5,000 podcasts. You're not going to lie there and think-
· David Senra
[00:00:00] S1: But that's surprising to me, Patrick. This is why this freaking Bruce Springsteen book is messing with me so much. It's because I'm seeing this, he's 66, when he writes it, 67, something like that, and now he's 76, and I heard him on another interview talking about it. Where the first half of the book is like, this guy has one of the most insane work ethics that you've ever seen. And it's channeled into one thing and he has no doubt since he was 15 that this is what he's going to do. And he realizes that he does not have the skill set, or he has all these things that he has not developed the skill set to handle. I'm just going to try to explain this. I mean, I just recorded a whole podcast about it so maybe this'll hopefully make sense. It was surprising to me that this man, who is psychopathically obsessed with professional achievement, and fame, and stardom, and all the stuff that he was very upfront about what he wanted from a young age, okay? He gets it, which I'll get to in a minute. And his final realization is, life is more important. Work is a part of life, it is not my full life. Life is life. It is important. And his biggest struggle was, he becomes famous as I... This is what Jimmy Iovine told me because I got to meet him, and right when I was leaving his house, he's like, "You need to go watch the new Bruce Springsteen movie." And it's called Deliver Me from Nowhere. And I thought it was going to be like a biography of his life. That's not what it's about at all. It is like a dark... I was shocked… dark movie. This is the key to understanding. Unbelievable, like, terrible environment he was born into. There's going to be two actions there. You're just like, "This is what life is, I'm going to accept it," or you're going to have this like maniacal will to change things. He has the maniacal will. And he's like, "I don't want to live like that." His dad was one of the worst human beings to him. He takes all that pain, channels it into a work ethic that gets him exactly what he wanted. Gets what he wants, which is now everybody knows who he is, he's worldwide famous, he's rich, everything. And then immediately drops in his mid-30s into the deepest depression of his life. And what he realizes is, "That's not what I actually wanted." And this is what it goes by, I think I told you this upstairs, or maybe we mentioned this.
· David Senra
It's like, we had a very interesting conversation at dinner last night, and it started with, "What is the lie that you're telling yourself?" And me and another person going around that for quite a while. And it was very fascinating. And the lie that Bruce was telling himself was that work was the most important, that becoming a rock star was the most important, fame was the most important. And when he realized that his parents had so messed up his emotional well-being, he was incapable of doing the thing that he wanted. In his case, he wanted, desperately wanted, to have kids, to be married, to break the chain, like we mentioned earlier, of like, "My kids will not experience what he experienced." And he was even writing... He has a whole album fantasizing about this before he's able to do it. And he would run into the same thing, where it's going to be such a crazy juxtaposition of like, he's on stage in front of 40,000 people, they all love him. And yet, in his case, he talks a lot about women in the book. He would get close to a woman, he'd have some kind of feelings for her, she'd have feelings for him back, okay? Then he immediately goes, "Why do you love me? Like, I am so f***** up and undeserving, so the fact that you love me means there's something wrong with you, and I'm going to hurt you because you love me." And then he'd run away, and then he'd get into another relationship, and it'd go over and over and over again. And he didn't realize the source of his depression was he didn't know what he actually wanted, and he didn't have the skill set. And then he winds up meeting the woman – he's married, by the way, he winds up meeting another woman who was in his band and getting divorced because he realizes, like, this is the person that can... I'm willing to do the work necessary to fix, which is a crazy thing. And then he goes through 25 years of therapy, and in some cases, he has to get on antidepressants and he's unbelievably honest about what took place in his life from 35 until 67 when he's writing his book. And so, I think there's all kinds of lessons in there from personal, like, what do you actually want in your personal life? The kind of relationships you want, with friends, romantic partners, whatever the case is.